I like my sex mixed with concussions.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
