no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize