New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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