BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The adults are the big ones right?
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