well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
