You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i would one night stand the shit outta him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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