it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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