After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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