It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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