so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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