just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
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