did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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