I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
