I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
