so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
