it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
