Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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