Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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