me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
