I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
The Olympian is in my bed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
