noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
