Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
