you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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