I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
