Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
