Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
