Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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