if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize