and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
