Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
