The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize