You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
