I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
