thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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