It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
