Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
