hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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