Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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