you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Randomize
