You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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