i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I accidentally burped into my bong.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
