I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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