he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
