it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
