At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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