my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
