I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
