you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
