I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
