My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Let's paint friendship bongs
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
