just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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