Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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