I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
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