Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
