You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
