An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
