so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize