Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
