Whoa Z and x make the same sound
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
