can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
