so that wasnt chicken after all
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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