i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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