At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
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