He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
