ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
