if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
