aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize