I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
