Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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