he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
