You made me cry and you don't even care
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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