end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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