i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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