hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
