Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
