Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
