im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize