So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
